Hurry up and wait...

So, because of really bad things happening, the state has decided that there a lots of hoops through which to jump, and red tape to navigate along the process of Foster care provider training and approval. Well, now nearly 4 months later, the process is complete. Everything from background checks, to financial statements, to hours of classes to "where do the kids go if you die" questions have been answered. We have cleaned, turned craft rooms and spare rooms into a nursery and child'd bedroom. We have stressed and labored every free moment.... and now we are done.

Anti-climactic eh? Our support worker, came and picked up the last of the paperwork on Thursday and said, "well, you are all good." It feels weird not to be doing something in preparation anymore. So now, all we do is wait. I am not so good at waiting. It could be a week, it could be a year... There is a secret little insecure person in the back of my brain that says "they think you are nuts, you wont get a placement." Blech! Hate that voice. However, until I get a phonecall and hear a voice ask me, "will you consider taking placement for this child?" it is the only voice I will be hearing.

Getting Started

I am not much of a writer... But I felt to strong of a pull to document this journey. After trying for years to complete our family, we finally decided to go through the foster care system. Yesterday was our first class.

The first two preservice classes were, for the most part, an introduction to the system, the process and what to expect. Instead of the expected dry presentation, our instructor was an amazing storyteller. Her heartbreaking, heartwarming and humorous stories were inspirational. OK.. I will admit it.. I choked back tears most of the day. It was rather emotional and incredibly eye opening. I have a new openness for the birth families, for older children and for the system in general.

But the most amazing part of the whole day, happened durring the break. Steve and I left durring the break for lunch and while reflecting on the morning, through tears my I fell in love with my husband all over again. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "you know honey, we have tried to have a biological child for 6 years.... maybe there is a reason... maybe we are supposed to be here today... we would be great parents to a child... we can help them survive the system... THIS is how we are supposed to be parents..."

I agree; this is where we are supposed to be. I know that it is going to be potentially even more emotional and trying than the journey to concieve and the loss of three pregnancies, however the rewards may prove to be immense as well...